Curry Up, I'm Hungry

When I was in college I had a horrible job working as a check out clerk at a bougie market in Fremont. I had the late shift and would often come home hangry and grumpy and hateful of people.  Luckily for my roommates, they were all asleep by the time I came home and I could just make giant pots of chicken curry in peace until 3:00am.  It is oddly therapeutic.  The curry chicken I made as a 19 year old insomniac was pretty simple and based on the cheapest ingredients I could get at the store.  Amazingly enough college student check out clerks are not millionaires.  The following is a slightly more interesting recipe.

Recipe #30: Thai Chicken Curry with Cauliflower Rice

Choice of libation: Remember the makers of Sex? I mean, the sparkling winery, L. Mawby, guys.  Well, they have a great sparkling wine called Sandpiper that you can only get in person at their tasting room in Michigan, that's dry but really flavorful.  Sparkling in general pairs really well with curry. Also it was only $10. Also it was the only booze we had in the fridge.

Choice of music: Celine Dion's Falling Into You.  This was one of the first CD's I ever bought. No shame.  I learned two things, re-listening to this album - 1) Make fun of her all you want, but that lady has the vocal range of a piano. 2) You are not always emotionally prepared to hear a 6 minute (on the album it's an 8 minute) version of "It's All Coming Back to Me Now." I am not joking.

Don't say I didn't warn you...

Is it all coming back to you...now?

I know, I know, imperfect knife skills, bla bla bla...At least when I was chopping the onions, I could cry to the lyrics, "Every sigh in the night, every tear that you cry...seduces me."

What the crap am I looking at, Emjoy? First of all, watch your language.  Secondly, this is just the onions and ginger sauteed with the massive amount of curry.

The recipe didn't specify what parts of the chicken to use, so I took that to mean "cheapest parts you can find at Mariano's," in this case, chicken tenders and drumsticks.

I couldn't find lemongrass, but I actually really liked what the lime juice did to the flavours. 

OKAY FINE, CHAD. Flavors.

We also didn't have normal chili powder but we DID have chipotle chili powder.  Happy accident! I liked its smokiness. 

I've never added tomatoes to a curry, but I liked what it did to the color. Of course with this kitchen lighting, everything looks orange no matter what.

While the curry was simmering I started on the garlic "rice."  You might remember me using this method when I made the cauliflower fried rice. I started by frying up some minced garlic.

Then ran cauliflower bits through the food processor, then added it to the garlic on the stove for 4 or 5 minutes. 

It may not look like very much, but man alive, folks.  It's really good.  Lots of intense flavors and I will definitely be making this again.  

And because I don't really have a clever outro to this blog entry, here is the video for that weird Town and Country mom van commercial Celine did ten years ago.  Please enjoy.

Adapted from http://shiftctrlart.com/

Thai Curry Chicken Casserole (it was originally Thai curry cashew chicken, but I forgot to get cashews...oops)

1.2 lbs chicken - add more chicken if you love more meat.

3 medium apples, diced

1/2 onion, diced - I dice up the whole onion, then freeze the other half and use it next time I need some onions.

4 cloves of garlic, minced

(I added minced ginger, about 2 tablespoons)

1 stick of lemon grass, minced - or squeeze a lime if you are fresh out of lemon grass

2 tbsp yellow curry powder

2 tsp coriander

2 tsp cumin

1/2 tsp chili - good amount if kids will be eating it, otherwise add more for more spice

salt, pepper to taste 

1 carton of Pomi diced tomatoes or similar

1 can of coconut milk - read label. They are not all equally good.I like and use this one.

Mince, dice and chop ingredients.

In some oil, fry the onions (and ginger) with the curry powder.

Add chicken and salt and pepper and turn until almost all white. Don't over cook it. Some raw is ok at this point. Then the chicken won't come out dry.

Add apples, garlic, lemon grass (or lime) and the rest of the spices.

Cook for a little bit, then add tomato. And coconut milk.

Let simmer under a lid on low for 20 minutes. Taste. If it tastes "like nothing", add more salt and pepper. It will bring out the flavors of the other spices. Simmer for another 10 minutes.

Serve over rice, or my favorite, keep it Paleo and serve it over fried cauliflower rice.

"A party without cake is just a meeting." - Julia Child

This blog took a longer time because I had to combine pictures from my phone, my camera, my brother's phone and his camera and shots from the great Jennifer Glasse's instagram.  Jenn is a fellow "food enthusiast" who jumped at the chance to help make a birthday cake for Bobby.  Because of our love of chocolate and Julia Child, the idea of baking her famous chocolate almond cake seemed both necessary and terrifying.  But a brother only turns 21 once. Even though, oddly enough, his sister continues to turn 25, year after year.

Recipe #29: Julia Child's "Queen of Sheba" Chocolate Almond Cake

Choice of libation: For Jenn and myself, La Granja Tempranillo ($4! Smooth!), for Chad, Short's Brewery Huma Lupa Licious (Michigan! Delightful hops!), for Bobby, milk (...).

Choice of music: Chocolate cake wasn't gift enough. Oh no.  We gave him the gift of T-Boz, Left Eye and Chilli since he'd never heard them before.  Try to reserve your judgement - he was born the year before CrazySexyCool came out.  You may now dissolve into tears.  Or Waterfalls, if you will.

The most important thing about this (and probably all Julia Child recipes) is that you don't veer too far away from the actual recipe.  Don't let our smiles in this picture fool you, we were both terrified of disappointing Julia.  But we were both still more adorable than Amy Adams in that one movie.  You know.  American Hustle.

Here is one of the only times I actually contributed to the making of this cake.  I buttered and floured the cake pan.  Jenn was very patient with me.

The recipe calls for rum OR coffee.  We laughed and figured that was a mistake.

Jenn combining the wet and dry ingredients like a champ

This was the part where we had to alternate adding the egg white and flour mixtures until everything was incorporated.   These are our pleasant concentrating faces.

Me: But Jenn, we already sifted the flour...

Jenn: The recipe asks us to do it again. This will make it smooth. 

You don't want to skip this step. 

Me: Oh. 

Is it done? When is it done? Is it done now? HOW ABOUT NOW???

So we had to wait awhile, even after the cake came out, it had to cool for two hours. TWO HOURS??? WHAT EVER WILL WE DO TO PASS THE TIME?! Oh, here's this television movie about TLC I had recorded on my DVR.  Perfect.  Honestly, the similarities were sometimes eerie.  And sometimes a bit of a stretch.  But I've seen worse TV movies. Much much worse.   

This will seem like it's taking forever, but I promise you it's worth it.  Once the cake is cooled you can start on the icing...

Yes.  Rum. Coffee. Chocolate.  More butter. 

Everyone, try not to drool into the cake.

You'd think that after all that, we'd dive right into eating.  But no.

This is 2014.  

We took about 20 minutes taking pictures of the cake, and taking pictures of each other taking pictures of the cake. Seriously.

Jenn: Oh, Bobby.  You HAVE to stand on this chair and take the picture from this angle.

Me: Bobby, aren't you going to eat the cake?

Bobby: Wait! Take a picture of me eating the cake!

Here is a picture of Bobby eating the cake.

Here is a picture of Jenn eating the cake.

(There is no picture of me eating the cake. 

Because I inhaled it in a corner without anyone seeing.

It was...Unpretty.)

The final step is to "press a design of almonds" over the icing, which we did, even though Jenn is allergic to almonds.  Bobby and I generously ate the side of the cake that had almonds on it. Because we're good people.

Oh man.  You guys. I mean, I will eat other chocolate cakes. And I will make other chocolate cakes. But, oh, Chocolate Almond Cake.  I am Diggin on You.

Stolen from

Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child

Reine de Saba avec Glaçage au Chocolat

(Chocolate and Almond Cake with Chocolate Icing)

This extremely good chocolate cake is baked so that its center remains slightly underdone; overcooked, the cake loses its special creamy quality. It is covered with a chocolate-butter icing, and decorated with almonds. Because of its creamy center it needs no filling. It can be made by starting out with a beating of egg yolks and sugar, then proceeding with the rest of the ingredients. But because the chocolate and the almonds make a batter so stiff it is difficult to fold in the egg whites, we have chosen another method, that of creaming together the butter and sugar, and then incorporating the remaining items.

Ingredients:

For the Cake:

4 ounces or squares semisweet chocolate melted with 2 Tb rum or coffee

1/4 lb. or 1 stick softened butter

2/3 cup granulated sugar

3 egg yolks

3 egg whites

Pinch of salt

1 Tb granulated sugar

2/3 cup pulverized almonds

1/4 tsp almond extract

1/2 cup cake flour (scooped and leveled) turned into a sifter

For the Icing:

2 ounces (2 squares) semisweet baking chocolate

2 Tb rum or coffee (*shh! we did 1 tb rum and 1 tb espresso)

5 to 6 Tb unsalted butter

Equipment:

A round cake pan 8 inches in diameter and 1-1/2 inches deep

A 3-quart mixing bowl

A wooden spoon or an electric beater

A rubber spatula

A cake rack

A small covered pan

A larger pan of almost simmering water

A wooden spoon

A bowl with a tray of ice cubes and water to cover them

A small flexible-blade metal spatula or a table knife

Instructions:

For the Cake:

Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C).

Butter and flour the cake pan. Set the chocolate and rum or coffee in a small pan, cover, and place (off heat) in a larger pan of almost simmering water; let melt while you proceed with the recipe. Measure out the rest of the ingredients. Cream the butter and sugar together for several minutes until they form a pale yellow, fluffy mixture.

Beat in the egg yolks until well blended.

Beat the egg whites and salt in a separate bowl until soft peaks are formed; sprinkle on the sugar and beat until stiff peaks are formed.

With a rubber spatula, blend the melted chocolate into the butter and sugar mixture, then stir in almonds, and almond extract. Immediately stir one fourth of the beaten egg whites to lighten the batter. Delicately fold in a third of the remaining whites and when partially blended, sift on one third of the flour and continue folding. Alternate rapidly with more egg whites and more flour until all egg whites and flour are incorporated.

Turn the batter into the cake pan, pushing the batter up to its rim with a rubber spatula. Bake in middle level of preheated oven for about 25 minutes. Cake is done when it has puffed, and 2-1/2 to 3 inches around the circumference are set so that a needle plunged into that area comes out clean; the center should move slightly if the pan is shaken, and a needle comes out oily.

Allow cake to cool in the pan for 10 minutes. Run knife around the edge of the pan, and reverse cake on the rack. Allow it to cool for an hour or two; it must be thoroughly cold if it is to be iced.

For the Icing:

Place the chocolate and rum or coffee in the small pan, cover, and set in the larger pan of almost simmering water. Remove pans from heat and let chocolate melt for 5 minutes or so, until perfectly smooth. Lift chocolate pan out of the hot water, and beat in the butter a tablespoon at a time. Then beat over the ice and water until chocolate mixture has cooled to spreading consistency. At once spread it over your cake with spatula or knife, and press a design of almonds over the icing.

Yield: For an 8-inch cake serving 6 to 8 people

Lettuce Use Up All the Food in the Fridge

Oh you guys.  Major blogger foul.  I totally whipped up a new recipe on the fly and didn't take pictures while doing it.  Because I was hangry.  Also because. Boxed wine.   Luckily my little brother saved the day because he literally takes a picture of every meal he eats.  We would be lost without his generation.

Recipe #28: Chicken Lettuce Wraps

Choice of libation: Trader Joe's Block White Wine chardonnay.  It's a good chardonnay if you don't like chardonnay, which I don't.  More citrus and less butter than I would expect.  Also, it was a little over $10 for 3 liters.  Wahoo!

Choice of music: The toddler who lives above us, running back and forth non-stop until she got sleepy. Don't worry.  I had my boxed wine.

This all started because we happened to have had this box of chile lime chicken burger in our freezer that was haunting me for the past several weeks and I wanted to do something with it.  I started by defrosting it and then chopping all of the meat up.

Remember I didn't take any pictures because boxed wine? Here is a picture that someone on the internet took of diced red peppers and red onions.  Just ignore that sweet banana pepper and bowl of beans in this picture and replace them with minced ginger, shredded carrots and 2 stalks of celery. I sauteed all those things together and added the diced chicken burger.

While the veggies and chicken were cooking, I warmed some peanut butter, ginger, red chili flakes, soy sauce and lime juice then poured it over the chicken mixture.  

Here is a picture of someone else's peanut sauce.

This is the actual food I cooked.  It doesn't look like much but it tasted pretty great and it's mostly healthy.  Considering this was just a meal to get rid of stuff before they went bad, I rather enjoyed it and would make it again. 

1 package of Trader Joe's Chile Lime Chicken burgers (defrosted)

4 tablespoons minced ginger

1/2 diced red onion

1 diced red bell pepper

2 diced stalks celery

1 cup shredded carrots

1/4 cup peanut butter

half of a lime

2 tablespoons soy sauce

red chili flakes

washed and dried lettuce (I would use romaine next time, this time I used green leaf)

salt and pepper

Saute 2 tablespoons of the ginger, with the onion, pepper, celery and carrots on medium low

Dice the chicken burger and throw in with the saute once vegetable start to soften

Salt and pepper to taste

In a saucepan, warm peanut butter and whisk with lime juice, soy sauce, with the red chili flakes until a thinner consistency 

Pour peanut sauce over burger and veggie mixture

Cook until meat is cooked through

Spoon chicken mixture into center of the lettuce

Eat like a taco

Don't eat it like a taco would eat it

Eat it as if you would eat a taco

You Say Potato...I SAY POTATO!!!!!!!

Continuing my streak of non-vegan/non paleo meals, I made a tater tot casserole.  The lovely Brooke Allen was joining me for an afternoon of watching terrible television and she truly loves tater tots as much as I love watching terrible television.  She also just started eating meat again, so I decided to celebrate that by frying up some bacon (you may now pretend to be surprised).

Recipe #27: Tater Tot Breakfast Casserole

Choice of libation: Abbondanza from the Cherry Republic Winery.  We recently took a trip to wine country in Michigan (did you know that was a thing? it is...) and brought back this blend of cherry wine and grape wine.  It's on the sweeter side, but good for summer time, or to pair with something salty.  LIKE BACON AND TATER TOTS. 

Choice of music:  Brooke Allen's company.  I highly recommend it.  OH. And.  I also highly recommend eating this casserole while watching a Lifetime Movie.  

This week's selection was the 2003 Lifetime movie, Hunger Point, starring Barbara Hershey as a terribly-wigged mother of two. Her daughters are played by Mad Men's Christina Hendricks (as Frannie, our narrator with "an intriguing mouth" (an actual line in the movie)) and that girl who had bulimia in Centerstage, (as Shelly, a girl with bulimia, but has "legs like a gazelle" (also a line in the movie)).  Don't watch it sober.

There really isn't much to this recipe -- it's super simple and CAN be healthy. 

I basically just threw in what I'd want for breakfast anyway:

Eggs, milk, salt and pepper

Red bell peppers, onion and parsley

Cheese, duh

Bacon and spinach.

Cover a casserole dish of tater tots with the egg mixture, throw it in the oven

Thank me later.

1/2 large onion, diced

1 red bell pepper, diced

12 large eggs

1/4 c milk

BACON

a lot of grated cheddar cheese

salt & pepper, to taste

parsley

2 lbs frozen tater tots

Preheat the oven to 350

First of all, cook that bacon, so your house begins to smell of it, dice, when crisped and cooled

Saute vegetables with olive oil, 5-7 minutes or until soft

Whisk 12 eggs and milk with 1 cup cheese in a large bowl, seasoning as you'd like

Stir in the veggies and bacon

Dump the frozen tater tots into a casserole dish 

Pour the egg mixture on top

Add all the cheese.  ALL THE CHEESE.

Bake for 35-40 minutes or until the egg has cooked through and cheese is melted.

Top with parsley

Serve warm and while watching a Lifetime movie.