Truth be told I do enjoy The Lord of the Rings, but am not a huge Tolkein aficionado compared to my husband or many of my friends who have read the books and watched the films multiple times. I read The Hobbit in junior high and The Fellowship of the Ring in high school and watched each of the movies when they originally opened in theaters. I thought they were beautiful but as they did not technically fall into the category of rom-com or regency era fiction, the stories weren't ones I turned to for comfort. However, when Hulu recently made the three films available in their extended forms, I realized I had never watched them in one day. And when I read about people eating corresponding meals for this all day affair, of puns and pies, of second breakfasts and elevenses, I knew what we had to do.
The true question was "If not now, Arwen?"
As someone whose coping mechanism is making plans, crafting a menu was a beautiful, time consuming blessing. Drawing inspiration from UK writer Nate Crowley, the hashtag #ThereAndSnackAgain, and multiple articles and podcasts, highlighting important "food moments" and guessing what times would correspond to Hobbit meals, here's where we landed:
Fellowship of the Ring
First Breakfast, Second Breakfast and Elevenses
Recipes #1, 2 and 3:
Bilbo Baggins' Birthday Cake Pie
Merry and Pippin's Stolen Produce: Maple-Roasted Cardamom-Spiced Apples and Carrots
Weathertop Fry Up: Bacon, Tomato, Mushroom Frittatas
(Mirror of Galadriel sparkling water)
The Two Towers
Luncheon, Afternoon Tea and Dinner
Recipes #4, 5, 6 and 7:
Savory Lembas Bread
Orc's Blood and Snow cocktail
"Meat's Back on the Menu Boys" Pork Pie
Sam's Poh-tay-Tos (and parsnips)
(and a Cheese Plate for Gimli)
Return of the King
Supper and Dessert
Recipes #8 and 9
Denethor Chicken and Grape Salad
Eye of Sauron shot
(Swedish fish for Gollum
Isengard Charcuterie and Preserved Vegetables
Mt. Doom Strawberries and Cream)
Choices of Libation: Like a hobbit, I am the size of a child but I have not escaped the perils aging, so we started off with coffee and tea and sparkling water for The Fellowship of the Ring. That said, hobbits love their ale so eventually we do get into some booze, starting at meal prep for The Two Towers. There is a fantastic craft brewery in Minneapolis called Dangerous Man, and for the occasion I picked up a crowler of their Pecan Brown Ale, because Tolkien is just so nutty, amiright? It was perfect paired with the saltiness of the dishes we were about to eat, slightly sweet, with a nice warm roasted malt. From there we moved onto our Blood and Snow cocktail* which is one of those dangerous drinks that you can accidentally finish in a few gulps because of its sweetness and because you get easily stressed out by violence. At last, it didn't feel right to end the day without some sort of ode to the scary giant marble of a bowling ball, also known as The Great Eye and I needed some energy, so why not make it a shot? Therefore, I present to you a bunch of crap I had in our bar, poured quickly into a tiny glass, "The Eye of Sauron."*