Emjoy Cristina Barcelona

Okay I'll be honest.  This wasn't really inspired by a meal in a movie, like I promised at the beginning of the month.  We mainly wanted to make tapas and I wanted to justify writing about it on this blog.  So I thought...Hmm...what movie might have had tapas in it? Or people cooking Spanish food? Or, uhm, people in Spain? Then I had it! VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA! PERFECT.  Except for my irrational dislike of Scarlett Johanssen.  But whatever.

Here is a picture of beautiful people eating in a Spanish kitchen.  I think. I actually don't remember the plot of this movie.  I remember loving Javier Bardem. And not loving Scarlett Johanssen.  And wanting more of Rebecca Hall (not pictured). And hoping Penelope Cruz would win.  Was it about racing?  I don't know.  Oh well.  Woody Allen directed it so it was probably about neurotics and sex.

Recipes #6, 7, 8 and 9: Octopus in Spicy Paprika Sauce, Fried Goat Cheese, Onion Confit, Saffron Meatballs

Choice of libation: Telmo Rodriguez Rueda Basa

...or what I like to call my new favorite white wine.  Lovely nose of subtle fruit and dry enough to go with our flavorful meal.  Nice citrus undertones. 

Choice of music: Just.  Yassssssssssss. This guy is a motown throwback in the best way possible.  Neo-soul former Cee-Lo backup singer Curtis Harding will MELT you.  Listen to his album, Soul Power.

This one is one of my favorite tracks, "Keep on Shining." It is good for the soul.

I know.  I know.  It looks like someone beat this little guy up.  And that's kinda true.  The instructions told us to "tenderize the octopus by throwing it forcefully about ten times into your kitchen sink."

After boiling it in a pot with lots of good spices like bay leaf and peppercorns and parsley and simmering it for what felt like forever (DON'T THROW OUT THE COOKING LIQUID! YOU'LL NEED IT LATER!), we cut the octpus into 1 inch pieces. Yes.  I sneaked a taste before the next step.  Yes. I could have eaten more. 

Garlic, salt, paprika, chili pepper, reserved cooking liquid and octopus just chilling for a few...

I would eat this every day.  I seriously would.  A little spicy, a little salty, perfect texture -- make sure not to over cook so it doesn't get too chewy.

I guess you didn't really need pictures of making the onion confit.  because while yummy, it's still just cooking a bunch of onions in oil and spices. 

 Instead, here are very exciting pictures of egg wash, parsley and dipping goat cheese in panko crumbs.

Yeah, I know.  They look boring and bland.  Much like an actress I irrationally dislike.

THIS IS TOTALLY HEALTHY SOMEHOW.

A little goes a long way, dude.  Garlic, parseley, saffron, salt.  I do wish we had done this in a mortar because this food processor is so hard to clean and annoying.  

Much like an actress I irrationally dislike.

Chad mainly worked on this part, rolling together veal, pork, garlic, egg, bread and spices.  We used just a touch of the wine that we had been guzzling earlier.  

In the end a lovely meal.  Recipes not included in this blog were the pickled watermelon and cucumber (we haven't quite perfected that recipe, but once we do we'll share it), brussel sprouts, and chopped up olives mixed with goat cheese and walnuts.  Also I have no idea what red wine that was. I think it came from a box.  But doesn't it look nice in that decanter? 

Unlike a certain actress I irrationally dislike.  

Ugh.  Look at her, riding that dolphin, like she owns the ocean.

stolen and adapted from Tapas:Little Dishes of Spain by Penelope Casas

Octopus in Spicy Paprika Sauce

1 lb small octopus

Cooking Liquid:
12 cups water
2 tblsp oil
1 bay leaf
1/2 onion peeled
4 peppercorns
2 springs parsley
sea salt

4 tsp olive oil
sea salt
paprika

Tenderize the octopus by throwing it forcefully about ten times into your sink.
Combine cooking liquid, combine water with oil, bay leaf, onion, peppercorns, parsley and salt in a large pot.
Bring to boil.
Dip the octopus in and out of the liquid 3 times quickly and return it to the liquid
Simmer for about 1 hour
Turn off heat and leave octopus in liquid until ready to use.
Cut octopus into 1 inch pieces.
Heat oil in a skillet and add the octopus, garlic and salt.
Cook for 1 minute, spriknle with paprika and chile pepper and stir in the reserved cooking liquid.  Simmer for a few more minutes.  (DO NOT OVERCOOK)

Onion Confit
2 tbsp olive oil
2 large sweet onions
2 cloves garlic minced
1/8 teaspoon crumbled thread saffron
1 bay leaf
sea salt
freshly ground pepper
1 tbsp white wine

Put the oil, onions, garlic, saffron and bay leaf in a shallow saute pan.
Heat over the lowest possible heat until the mixture begins to sizzle.
Cover and cook 40 minutes.
Season well with salt and pepper
Add white wine and cook until evaporated.

Fried Goat Cheese
1/2 recipe onion confit (I used all of it)
1 egg
1/4 tsp parsley
4 oz log goat cheese cut in 1/2 in slices
panko bread crumbs
olive oil for frying

In a shallow bowl, beat the egg and parsley together with a fork.
Dip the cheese in the egg then coat with crumbs.

Heat the oil, preferably in a deep fryer.  We did in our wok.  So it's like FUSION.
Pour oil to a depth of at least 1 inch and heat oil until it quickly browns a cube of bread
Fry cheese until golden brown and drain on paper towels.
Place fried cheese on top of confit.  Because YEAH.

Tiny Meatballs in Saffron Sauce
1/2 lb ground veal
1/2 lb ground pork
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp minced parsley
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 slice bread, crusts removed, soaked in milk, squeezed dry
1 1/2 teaspoons coarse salt
ground pepper
flour for dusting
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tblsp minced onion
1/4 tsp sweet smoked paprika
1/2 cup veal or chicken broth
2 tbsp white wine
several strands saffron
minced parsley for garnish

In a bowl mix together the veal, pork, half of the garlic, 1 tbsp of parsley, egg, bread, salt and pepper. Form into small balls not larger than 1 inch.  Dust with flour.

Heat the oil in a shallow casserole.  Brown the meatballs well on all sides.  Add the onion and saute until wilted.  Sprinkle in paprika and cook\ for one minute.  Stir in broth and wine, bring to boil, cover, and simmer for 40 minutes

Mash together in a processor or mortar the remaining garlic, parsley, saffron and a little salt.  Stir this mixture into the meatballs, sprinkle with parsley and serve. Add the saffron mixture just before serving.

"To Bridget, who cannot cook, but who we love…just as she is."

It's awards season, you guys! So in honor of that, I'm making food inspired by movies.  Because the best thing about winter is eating comfort food and putting that Netflix streaming to good use.  First up is the critically acclaimed* film, Bridget Jones' Diary.  I'm sure you remember that horrendous birthday feast she cooks for close friends because she has a "sneaking suspicion [she] is also somewhat a genius in the kitchen." Yeah. I have it slightly memorized.  We didn't have Netflix back then and I only had 3 VHS tapes. YEAH. I HAD VHS TAPES. DEAL WITH IT. 

The menu consisted of "blue soup to start, orange pudding to end and for the main course, congealed green gunge." And an omelette that dreamy Mr. Darcy makes on the fly.  

*as reviewed by college senior, me, post-break up

The potato leek soup is blue, of course, because our heroine used blue string to tie the leeks that she used in her broth.  I chose not to replicate exactly what she made in the movie because that color shouldn't occur anywhere, not even on Katy Perry.  I made a slight variation instead, where it is a slightly more appetizing green colour.  But first.  Can we talk about how Bridget Jones is friends with Dr. Gaius Baltar,  Angela Moon and Moaning Myrtle?

 If you had to be at an awful birthday dinner, these are probably the best people to drink with.

Recipe #5: Potato Leek Soup (with kale and bacon)

Choice of libation and music: I was at least accurate for this part...

(any of her albums, really, though for this evening it was "Classikhan")

(and any vodka, really, though for this evening it was whatever we had in the freezer that I've already forgotten the name of)

This story begins as so many of mine do...

Between this stuff and the bacon, at this point, the aromas from your stove will have you drooling!

 I didn't used to like Worcestershire sauce. For the life of me I can't remember why.  

Oh, immersion blender.  What would my winters be without you?

While I simmered the soup, I might have finished off the vodka in the freezer.

I would recommend adding a crap ton more sour cream and herbs and spice than the recipe calls for. The crumbled bacon at the end does help.  So I'm gonna level with you.  This wasn't AWESOME. It was fine.  And I'll eat it throughout the week because it's too cold to go out.  And sometimes "eating the entire contents of one's fridge seems inevitable."

stolen and adapted from foodnetwork.com

3 slices bacon

1 3/4 pounds Yukon gold potatoes (about 3), peeled and diced

1 leek (white and light green parts only), halved lengthwise and thinly sliced (I would do 2 leeks)

2 cloves garlic, minced (I would suggest doing at least 4 cloves)

1 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary and/or thyme (I added 3 more teaspoons of both)

Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper (be very generous here)

4 cups low-sodium chicken broth

1 medium bunch kale, stems removed, leaves chopped (about 10 cups)

1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce (I ended up adding 3 more teaspoons)

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

1 tablespoon sour cream (I added 3 more tablespoons)

2 tablespoons chopped smoked almonds

Cook the bacon in a large Dutch oven or pot over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until crisp, about 5 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towels.

Add the potatoes and leek to the drippings in the pot and cook, stirring, until the leek is slightly softened, about 3 minutes. Add the garlic, herbs, 1/4 teaspoon salt and a few grinds of pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are slightly browned, about 2 minutes. Add the chicken broth and 4 cups water and bring to a simmer; cover and cook 15 minutes. Add about three-quarters of the kale; continue cooking, covered, until wilted, about 5 minutes. Stir in the Worcestershire sauce.

Meanwhile, preheat the broiler. Toss the remaining kale with the olive oil on a baking sheet; season with salt and pepper. Broil until crisp, about 3 minutes.

Thin the sour cream with a splash of water. Working in 3 to 4 batches, puree the soup in a blender until smooth; reheat if needed. Serve topped with the sour cream, kale chips, bacon and almonds.