Oh, Malort, WHAT was she thinking???

You know how sometimes it's a Wednesday afternoon and you're slap happy from too much coffee and screaming in soprano at hundreds of children at a 10am student matinee, so you come home for some peace and quiet, when deciding to feed the mewing cats who let you live in their house and right after you pour their food, the gray one named Ruth Bader Ginsberg, hisses and scratches your calf drawing blood BECAUSE HOW DARE YOU NOURISH THEM and so now you're spiraling because you are tired and don't know enough about cats to know for sure that they didn't just give you rabies or SARS? and so then you chug a shot of Malort and grab your purse and head for the store and before you know it you're buying supplies?  Yep, that's what happened here. 

                                                            #1:  Malört Glazed Wings

Choice of Libation:  Duh

Now listen, I understand it isn't necessarily the easiest drink to drink. Talk of wormwood and grapefruit rind and what have you, most people can't really pin down exactly what gives it that KICK in the GROIN. The first time I met the liqueur, I was at the historic Green Mill where I was surrounded by Chicago musicians and comedians and ghosts all of who were much cooler than I was. The bartender had been pouring everyone the same shot and assumed I would take it.  Who was I to turn down a drink that was on the house? I chugged it at the same speed as those around me.  I wish I could remember what I said. It's my belief that Malört turns everyone into a poet, especially upon their first sip ("Like pennies, regret, with a kick of basement." - Dixie, "Like my parents' divorce." - Greg, "I...I need to throw up." - Rob).  It did wake me up more than a shot of espresso ever could. And now, whenever I drink it, no matter where I am, I am taken back to Chicago. And that is always a nice feeling.

Choice of Music: Chicago Legend Bethany Thomas singing at The Green Mill. Don't know her voice? YOU'RE WELCOME. Download everything she's ever done immediately. 

Ok, so how did we get them wings?

So of course after I took this photo, emboldened by a sense of curiosity and bravery (sponsored by a shot of Malort) I added a few other things that I'll include in the recipe below. I WAS TRYING STUFF.

While it is my first attempt at Malort glazed wings, I am quite familiar with making a giant batch of wings to devour with a large group of friends beer. I usually like to do a dry rub and experiment with spices each time.

Obligatory post of badly moisturized hand pouring shot of booze into a receptacle. In this case, after I had made the base bbq sauce (which I fully just made up on the spot (or WINGED it, hahahaha)), I added the magic ingredient. A nice even shot. One for the bowl, one for me.

Now at this point, you could usually just throw these on a plate with some carrot sticks and ranch and call it a day, but this is where The Great Experiment begins. Not Democracy, obviously. The other thing. Less complicated, more achievable.

Keep that oven on and dunk them wings in that sauce. 

YOU'RE SO CLOSE! I BELIEVE IN YOU! 

Everyone rejoices! The chef, the deer, Stephanie because she is the one person who reads this blog, Ruth the cat because she drew blood and possibly gave me rabies, but maybe not the liquor store employee who probably lost a bet when I bought that dusty bottle of Jeppson's. 

No regrets! Clear eyes, full mouths, can't lose!

*Obviously, add all of the below to your taste. These are approximate measurements because shots, yknow? You could probably also substitute the Malort with mezcal or bourbon. But why would you do that?

Bourbon BBQ Sauce (1 cup)

1 shot malort

½ cup ketchup

1 Tablespoon tomato paste

2 Tablespoons maple syrup

2 Tablespoons honey

2 Tablespoons worcestershire sauce

½ teaspoon onion powder

½ tsp garlic powder

2 tsp hot sauce

Salt/pepper to taste

Wings

1.5 pound chicken wings, flats and drumettes

1 tsp cayenne

2 tsp paprika

2 tsp garlic powder

2 tsp onion powder

1 tsp berbere

2 tsp coarse sea salt

1 tsp freshly ground black pepper

1 Tablespoon baking powder 

Preheat the oven to 425°F. 

Line a large rimmed baking sheet with foil and place oven-safe wire cooling racks on top of the pan/foil.

Toss wings in baking powder.

Pat the chicken wings dry, then evenly coat with salt and pepper. 

Mix the other spices together. Evenly sprinkle across the wings, tossing to coat.

Place the wings on the sheet, and place in the oven.

Wings on rack after baking. 

Bake for 18 minutes, flip each wing, then bake for 18 more minutes.

Once the wings are ready, transfer them to a bowl and pour in the bbq sauce, tossing to coat evenly. If you're someone who likes to dip wings in sauce, too, reserve a bit of sauce here to do so.

 Place the wings back on the baking sheet and place in the oven for an additional 5 minutes or so.

Take wings out of oven and put into mouth! :)