JUCY LUCY, Minnesota's Ambassador to the World...

"Give it some time before you bite, or it'll bite back."
That's what she said?
Oh. Probably.
At some point.

Dear The Three People Who Read This Blog,

I have rewritten the beginning of this multiple times and there was no way to discuss the Jucy Lucy (or the Juicy Lucy, depending on which Minnesota dive bar you are at) while still sounding wholesome, so I've given up.

The Jucy Lucy has been described to me as a meat gusher (ew) but basically it is the thing that happens when one burger patty loves another burger patty very much or just enough and they come together around a cheese slice  which gets gooey and explodes into your mouth when you finally bite down.

I'm so sorry.  As a Filipino Catholic, I am horrified.

Recipe #9: Jucy Lucy

Choice of libation: Milk is the official state drink of Minnesota so I had box wine.

Choice of music: In honor of my dear friend and virtual happy hour-er Lucy Carapetyan (who I was supposed to bring to a South Minneapolis burger joint to enjoy this with before...well. You know.) I'm rocking out to Lucius.  She put this song on a social distance playlist we collaborate on and it's just perfect, just like Lucy.

Why, Emjoy!  Your food photography is just stunning this week!

THANKS! I STOLE IT!
Sorry, friends, I totally spaced.  But the important thing to note is that it is another pantry/freezer staple recipe.  Also note that someone out there scrapes the top of butter like that.  Butter scraper? I hardly know her.
OMG. What is wrong with me. I'm so sorry.

 Because extra protein and vegetables are important, I decided to fold in caramelized onions and bacon into my burger patties first.  EMJOY GAVINO, HEALTH ICON.

Not pretty. But at least they're broken and disheveled and oddly flat.  <--- how they described me in high school

Oooh, patted down and unassuming, one would never know what lurks beneath. <--- also how they described me in high school

While the burgers were searing, I took some garlic I roasted in the oven and folded it into some softened butter and italian herbs. You know.  For calcium and more nutrients.

After toasting the brioche, spread the calcium rich butter thickly and...

...and DON'T accidentally touch the pan because it'll be super hot and you'll burn yourself and your hands will blister so grab the first thing you find in your freezer and heal thy wounds. And if you need to take a swig, that's okay too.

Well I have to say, finger pad casualties and potential for burning one's tongue on the molten core aside, this was pretty delicious. Perhaps the danger makes it even more so. So: Don't touch the hot pan, don't bite into the burger right away and please for the love of God. As much as I would love for you to come visit me in the twin cities, dear readers, I encourage you to try this in your own kitchen AND STAY HOME.


stolen and heavily adapted from food52.com

2 pounds ground beef
5 slices bacon chopped
1/2 sweet onion diced
4 slices of American cheese or any thin meltable cheese you have
Salt and pepper
Vegetable oil
1 yellow onion, roughly chopped
Sliced pickle chips (bread & butter or dill)
4 soft hamburger buns
1 tablespoon butter

1. Fry bacon in a cast iron pan, set aside on top of paper towel on top of plate. Do not look at the paper towel and if you do try not to think about what it soaked up.
2. Caramelize the onions where you fried the bacon
3. Fold both into ground beef
4. Separate the burger mix into 8 pieces and create 1/4-inch thick patties out of each one.
5. Fold the cheese slices in half, twice, making a square, and stick into the middle of four of the patties, gently pressing down into the meat
6. Place the other four patties on top of the patties that have the cheese, pinch to seal the edges, and form into perfect burgers roughly 3/4-inches thick. It's very important to seal it in! Season the patties liberally with salt and a few cracks of freshly ground black pepper and each side.
7. Pour a little oil on a cast iron pan and set it over medium-high heat. Once the oil begins to shimmer, gently place in your burgers in the pan. Cook until a hard caramelized crust forms on the bottom of the burger (3-5 minutes), flip, and repeat. Cook for an additional 3-5 minutes, remove from the heat, and set aside to rest.
8. Place your buns down on the pan and lightly toast to warm through (30 seconds-1 minute). Place your burgers on the buns, top with whatever

WARNING!!! If you don't let your burgers rest, you WILL burn your mouth with molten cheese.

So we Meat again...

Ever find yourself standing half naked in a bathtub trying to shave down your undercut with nickel plated office scissors because you broke your husband's beard clippers on your strong Asian hair which you should gone to the barber's for before shelter in place and now your dog won't even look you in the eyes and you're considering covering all mirrors and reflective glass like some kind of vampire so you won't be reminded that your once fresh fade now resembles an unhealthy cat named Patches?

No?

Me neither.

Anyway I made some ribs.

Well to be accurate I made more than that.

Recipes #6 Imperial Stout BBQ Sauce

#7 Slow Cooker Ribs and #8 Beer Bread

Choice of libation: The star of the meal, Lagunitas Imperial Stout. It is much more of a fall/winter beer because of its darkness and richness but WHAT IS TIME ANYWAY. I'm a fan of this one - it has notes of bittersweet chocolate and coffee, some nuttiness and malt. Also 9.9% ABV and you know mama loves a high ABV.
Ew.
Mama.
I'm so sorry.

Choice of music: Brandi. Friggin. Carlile.  Being in Minnesota right now, I got nostalgic for home (hence, the Lagunitas beer from Chicago) and Brandi Carlile has always reminded me of Seattle.  If you've ever gotten a mix tape from me or talked to me ever, I've probably pushed her music on you.  She is equal parts folk, rock and angel.

Yep. Pantry staples for the most part.  Yep.  The ribs ingredients are copy and pasted from google images because I forgot to take a picture. Yep. Maybe I was tipsy.  Yep. 9.9% ABV.

Golly, but I love a good "dump things in a saucepan and leave it" recipe.

The recipe ended up making 2 mason jars of bbq sauce which ended up being JUST enough for what I needed it for.  But if you happened to double it, you could throw it in some baked beans, or glaze a meatloaf OR make a weird ass delicious bloody mary...

Anyway.

I don't have a sifter so I was told to spoon the flour into the measuring cup before dumping it into the bowl.

MMmm...some for the bread dough, some for meeeee...

I'll soften YOU with butter.
...what?
I'm so sorry. I'm so tired.

Yep. Still making everything in a pie pan.

Because of the complexity of the beer it is an INTERESTING flavor.  I think because I used sea salt instead of iodized salt it ended up being more salt forward and not as sweet as I thought it would be.  But it goes well with other foods.  Like more beer.

Creating a nice bath for your ribs is definitely a good idea.
Listen, just because I don't bathe regularly anymore doesn't mean the ribs should suffer.

Hours later, voila!  A plate fit for a quarentKing or Queen or unemployed actor.  Also featured, butter whipped with 2 gobs of honey and 2 splashes of bourbon.  And some kind of salad.

P.S. I forgot the whole reason I made this meal was because I wanted to watch the movie Uncorked and knew better than to watch it hungry.  Highly recommend this movie, especially with ribs or bbq sauce and a spoon.  And a box of wine or bbq sauce and a straw.

stolen and heavily adapted from food.com

BEER BBQ SAUCE

1 cup onion (chopped)
1 tablespoon vegetable oil (or butter)
1 cup beer
2 cups ketchup
2 tablespoons red wine vineger ​(or cider vinegar)
4 tablespoons brown sugar (packed)
2 tablespoons molasses (or honey)
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
3 tsp oregano
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/8 to 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (or to taste)


In a large saucepan, cook the onion in the vegetable oil or butter until tender.

Add the remaining ingredients and bring to a simmer.

Reduce heat to low and simmer, frequently stirring, for about 20 to 30 minutes, until thickened and reduced to about 2 cups.

Taste and adjust the seasonings.


BEER BREAD
3 cups flour (sifted)
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt (omit if using Self-Rising Flour)
1⁄4 cup sugar
1.5 cup beer
1⁄2 cup melted butter (1/4 cup will do just fine)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Mix dry ingredients (If you do not have a sifter, use a spoon to spoon the flour into the 1 cup measure. ) and beer.
Pour into a greased loaf pan.
Pour melted butter over mixture.
Bake 1 hour, remove from pan and cool for at least 15 minutes.

UPDATED NOTES: This recipe makes a very hearty bread with a crunchy, buttery crust. If you prefer a softer crust (like a traditional bread) mix the butter into the batter instead of pouring it over the top.

If you do not have a sifter, use a spoon to spoon the flour into the 1 cup measure.


RIBS

1  Slice onion and place on bottom of slow cooker
2  Cut ribs into halves or thirds and place on top onions
3  Season ribs generously with the seasoning salt.
4  Add to the ribs to the slow cooker
5  Pour on the bbq sauce (repeat steps 4 and 5 if necessary)
6  Cook on high for 4 hours or medium for 6 hours

Cookies for breakfast? You brown butter believe it...

Okay.  What the hell is intermittent fasting? When I go to bed at night, I consider sleep the time when I think about what my next meal will be while my eyes are closed (as opposed to the other hours of the day when I am thinking about what my next meal will be while my eyes are open, or when I am devouring said meals but let's be honest I am still probably thinking about my next meal then too).  Chad for some reason has adopted this "do not eat til noon" thing, saying he has more energy and a faster metabolism, also that scientists say it reduces one's risk of type 2 diabetes.

Cool. So booze cookies rolled in more sugar for brunch? GREAT.
(I am bad at health)

RECIPE #5: Brown Butter Bourbon Cookies

Choice of libation: Gotta taste the bourbon to make sure it is good enough for the cookies. We had Benchmark Old No. 8 in the cupboard, which I think is from the Buffalo Trace distillery? It's not bad - caramely but not super complex.  Goes great with powdered sugar. 

Choice of music: The Mulan soundtrack.  Hear me out.  Actually, no one ever has to justify listening to the Mulan soundtrack but here are my reasons you didn't ask for: 1) Lea Salonga as Mulan. I preferred her singing of Reflection to Christina Aguilera's over-riffed differently lyric-ed version. Lea's voice is so pure and not pushed and she is such a good storyteller.  And, okay maybe I used to belt the song into the mirror and cry when I was younger.  OKAY MAYBE I DID THAT YESTERDAY. 2) The new movie looks amazing and I cannot WAIT when we can all be in a theater to watch in on the big screen with gorgeous fight sequences and a dreamy dreamy cast. 3)  The one song with Stevie Wonder and 98 Degrees is still a bop. 4) LEA FRIGGIN SALONGA.

This is another pantry staples recipe, thank goodness.  The original asked for vanilla extract, but we had bourbon and I also like to stay on brand. (Andie's judging me for using store-brand products - she is such a snob.)

Brown that butter!  Is something I actually exclaimed to my saucepan.  Did I mention I drank the bourbon on an empty stomach? INTERMITTENT FASTING! WOOOHOOOOOO!!!!

It said to chop the nuts into the size of a lentil which obviously made me launch into a rousing rendition of Papa Can You Hear Me? Which, surprisingly, sang loudly with the background track of "Make a Man Out of You" doesn't work at all.  How has that not already been a double feature?! Would I enjoy a Yentl/Mulan mash up?  I feel like I walnut be disappointed.

OBLIGATORY PHOTO OF ME POURING BOOZE INTO A BOWL WITH OTHER STUFF.


However will I pass the time while the dough chills in the fridge for an hour?

Whoooo is that girl I seee, staring straight back at meee....?

So I made a bit of a mess rolling this in powdered sugar.  I'm sure lovely civilized bakers know how not to make a mess. I do not.

What's that? They still need to go through another round of rolling around in sugar?  WHAT A COINCIDENCE. ME TOO.

I would totally make these again, though maybe I wouldn't wear my GOOD pajamas while making them.

When will my reflection show who I am insiiiiiiiide?

I wouldn't say these cookies are messy. I'm just saying that I would recommend eating them over a sink, or wearing all white while also sitting on all white furniture. And maybe check your face before you get on that zoom for work.

stolen and heavily adapted from http://bonappetit.com/

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter
1 cup walnuts
½ tsp. kosher salt
1½ cups powdered sugar, divided
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. bourbon

Melt 2 sticks butter in a small skillet over medium heat. Cook, stirring often with a rubber spatula, until butter foams, starts to smell nutty, and the milk solids—the sandy bits at the bottom of the pan underneath the liquid butter—are turning golden brown, 6–8 minutes. Don’t walk away; the butter can go from perfectly golden to burnt very quickly! Once butter is golden, immediately pour it into a large heatproof bowl (it will keep cooking if you leave it in the pan) and chill until starting to solidify, about 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, very finely chop 1 cup walnuts (they should be about the size of a lentil)

Add ½ tsp. salt and ½ cup powdered sugar to bowl with butter.  Using an electric mixer (OR, HEAR ME OUT, A RICE SPOON) on high speed, beat until mixture is lightened in color and very fluffy, about 3 minutes.

Scrape down sides of the bowl with rubber spatula. Add 2 cups flour and beat on low speed until dough is thick and smooth.

Using rubber spatula (OR WHATEVER), fold chopped nuts and 1 tsp. vanilla or bourbon or rum or what have you into batter, scraping bottom and sides of bowl, until incorporated. (Swapping the vanilla extract for almond or orange extract would be fun, too.) Cover bowl with plastic and chill dough until firm, about 1 hour

Place a rack in middle of oven; preheat to 325°. Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper. You can always grease your baking sheets well and bake directly on the metal; the cookies might brown a little more quickly, so keep an eye on them. Roll dough into 1" balls and arrange on prepared pan.

Bake cookies, rotating pan halfway through, until firm and beginning to look dry but haven’t taken on any color, 20–22 minutes. Let cookies cool on sheet until they're just cool enough to handle but still warm.

Sift remaining 1 cup powdered sugar into a large bowl. Toss warm cookies in powdered sugar. Transfer cookies to a wire rack and let cool completely. Toss one more time in powdered sugar.

Yeah I'm into fitness. Fitness whole burrito in my belly...

What do you do when you are craving Chipotle but are too lazy to pick up and too cheap to meet the minimum $10 for delivery? Get drunk, ransack your fridge and pantry, make a mess in the kitchen and then when all else fails, add lots of cheese. Obv.

Recipes #2 Enchilada sauce, 

#3 Tortillas,

#4 Burrito filling: Beans and tinga chicken / Spanish rice

Choice of libation: Banhez mezcal with a twist of orange and a giant ice cube.  The mezcal by itself is bright and floral with just a little pineapple at the end -- the smoke is there but subtle so it's a smooth sip.  I like adding orange in there because some lovely person at Front Bar decided that was my drink and I am a lover, not a fighter.  

                             

Choice of music: Yesterday was also Saraí Rodriguez's birthday.  If you don't know her, and you should, she has impeccable taste in everything so if she tells you to listen to something or eat something or do something she is always right because she is basically a perfect human.

So in honor of her, I had to listen to PJ Morton whose music she blasted during an impromptu road trip.  The Piano Album  contains my favorite tracks from his Gumbo and Paul albums but as the title suggests, is just voice and keys, just heart and soul and gorgeous throwback harmonies (feat. The Walls Group, Jojo, Rapsody and Alex Isley).  You can usually hear the gospel and New Orleans influences in his work, but in this album you can focus on the beauty of the lyrics and melodies  - it demands you to take a breath. It chilled me the fuck out.  Which, if you've met me, you know is hard to do.

In addition to Saraí 's birthday, yesterday was also taco Tuesday and National burrito day.  So. Never tell me I'm not patriotic.  

I was pretty thrilled about being able to make 3 components kind of from scratch - This is truly a pantry/fridge staples meal, right down to the rotisserie chicken which Andie quietly drooled near for the whole of the prep.  

I'm a wimp compared to most people when it comes to spices, but this is actually more smokey than spicy (to go with my mezcal) and adding vinegar and honey wasn't part of the original plan, but as I tasted it during the simmering process, felt it balanced the flavour. And yes.  That is a rice spoon I am using to stir the sauce. Shut up.

This was the part I was most nervous about. I love carbs. I didn't want to fail at carbs.  Throughout the messy process I cursed and screamed and angrily texted my friends of my stupidity, but what's great about kneading and rolling is that you can get out a lot of anger and as a Filipino catholic, this activity turns out to be very useful to me.  So they were fine but I think I might use a different recipe as they weren't as soft as I wanted them to be.  Also.  It is impossible to fail at carbs.  

A giant pita told me that in a dream.  True story. 

I know this is out of order, but there is a section of the recipe where it tells you 

to let the dough rest, and I -

I mean, they're so cute when they're napping.

By using leftover rice and rotisserie chicken, I know I am doing my frugal Gavino bloodline proud.  I didn't really have specific recipes for the rice and the chicken.  I read somewhere that "tinga" is a dish that uses shredded meat, onions and chipotle chilis in adobo sauce so I dumped that in a pan with spices and beans, sauteed a poblano with onions and rice and let everything simmer while I finished my drink.  And yes, that is a Talenti gelato container that held my leftover rice.  Shut up. 

I guess the difference between an enchilada and burrito is whether or not you tuck the sides in? I don't know. I could google it but it's all delicious to me so I don't really care too much.  I do know that at some point when making burritos or "anchelaahdas" you must fold in the cheese.  

Apologies if you don't understand this reference.  Or you're welcome.  START WATCHING SCHITT'S CREEK IMMEDIATELY.

I guess people call this a wet burrito. And some call it a smothered burrito. Both made me slightly uncomfortable (remember? Filipino Catholic...) so I muttered something about semantics and gobbled it up.  You could add guacamole or sour cream if you have it.  We had plain greek yogurt which could work in a pinch.  This is just a celebration in using up ingredients in your home before they go bad and then feeling really so smug about it that you tell all your friends and acquaintances who really don't care. 

Stolen then messily adapted from gimmesomeoven.com:

SAUCE

2 tablespoons olive oil, or any other neutral oil)

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

4 tablespoons chili powder (not cayenne!*)

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon ground cumin

1/4 teaspoon dried oregano

2 cups chicken or vegetable stock

Cap full of apple cider vinegar

1 tbsp honey

Heat oil in a small saucepan over medium-high heat. Add flour and whisk together over the heat for one minute. Stir in the remaining seasonings (chili powder through oregano). Then gradually add in the stock, whisking constantly to remove lumps. Add vinegar and honey. Reduce heat and simmer 10-15 minutes until slightly thickened.

Pour into a mason jar or bowl and save the saucepan for making the filling.

Stolen then messily adapted from Liluna.com:

TORTILLAS

2 cups all purpose flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 tbsp unsalted butter softened

3/4 cup lukewarm water

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt until well combined. Transfer to the bowl of a large food processor. Add the butter and pulse until the mixture resembles cornmeal (about 15 1-second pulses). With the food processor running, slowly stream in the warm water. Process until the dough forms a rough ball. If  you are stuck in a kitchen without a food processor your can be YOUR OWN FOOD PROCESSOR and stir by hand using a large bowl and a salad spoon.  Do not be ashamed.  You're doing your best.  

Turn out dough onto a lightly floured work surface. Knead for 1 minute until smooth and elastic. Divide dough into 10 equal pieces and roll into balls. Cover dough balls with clean kitchen towel and rest for 15 minutes.

Heat a large skillet over medium heat. While skillet is heating, roll tortillas into 7- to 8-inch diameter circles, using a bit of flour to prevent sticking. Place a tortilla into hot skillet and cook until it bubbles up a bit and light brown spots form on the underside, anywhere from 10 to 60 seconds depending on how hot your pan is and how thick your tortillas are. Flip tortilla and cook until second side is done. Repeat until all tortillas are cooked.

Stolen then messily adapted from from Food.com:

RICE

Pat of butter

Poblano pepper diced

1/2 red onion diced

3 cloves garlic

2 cups cooked rice

1 can diced tomatoes

Chili powder, cumin, coriander, salt and pepper to taste

Heat butter in a frying pan over medium heat; cook and stir onion, pepper and garlic until slightly tender, 5 to 10 minutes. Stir tomatoes into onion mixture; add rice. Add spices.  Cover, simmer rice mixture, stirring occasionally, until heated through and flavors are blended, 15 to 20 minutes.

FILLING:

1 tbsp of olive oil or avocado oil or whathaveyou

1 can of black beans

1 small can of chipotle chilis in adobo sauce

1/2 diced red onion

3 cloves garlic

shredded chicken (2 handfuls? I don't know...)

spices (I used smoked paprika, nutmeg, cinnamon, salt and pepper)

Using the pot you made the sauce in, saute the onion and garlic till tender, stir in the chicken and chipotle chilis, let it cook for five minutes on low heat then add the beans and spices. Simmer while you cook the tortillas.

PUTTING THE WHOLE THING TOGETHER

- Set the oven to broil

- Scoop the rice and beans onto the tortilla, being careful not to overstuff

- Pull the bottom half of the tortilla to meet the top half, then pull it back forming the filling into a roll, fold the left side in then the right, then tightly roll the burrito and place it seam down onto a skillet or pan.

- Cover the burritos (or if you didn't roll them correctly, enchiladas) with leftover sauce. Fold in the cheese.  Or rather, scatter cheese on top of everything.

- Broil for about 10 minutes or until it gets as melty as you want it

- Add whatever burrito/taco/aaaanchelaahhda toppings you'd like

"Cake is the word which God has written on the brow of every man." - Victor Hugo

it is possible that the above quote was actually about hope, but he probably also said it about cake, once.

Dear the Three People Who Read this Blog (I know it used to be five, but I am pretty sure at least two of you are mad at me. I can feel it.),

Alas, after four years, one month and three days, I have returned to you. Of course there have been pastas sauced, soups ladled, and casseroles slightly burnt just the way God intended - I just didn't blog about them due to laziness and slow wi-fi...So why am I finally back at the ol' blogspot, mouth full of liqueur and head full of that 800-588-2300 Empiiire commercial jingle?  Call it a creative spark, call it nostalgia or call it a fun time in our lives the mayor pronounces "shelter in place."

Or as us self-proclaimed introverts call it, "Wednesday."

Recipe #1: Black Walnut Liqueur Pound Cake

Choice of Libation: Black Walnut Creme Liqueur (Round Barn Winery) on ice, with just a splash of cold brew.  In my experience, Michigan wine country has its ups (any sparkling wine from Mawby) and its downs (that one "tropical" pinot grigio the color of Windex). This liqueur not only boasts a really high ABV, but it is deliciously nutty and rich and not too sweet.  <-- That's what they called me in high school.

Choice of Music: Alabama rapper, singer, songwriter, poet Chika. She is friggin 23 years old and I can't stop watching her Tiny Desk Concert and listening to her album - it is fresh, hopeful and soulful.  The hero we need and deserve.

OK. Let's bake something, shall we?  Nothing like a booze cake to distract us from a pandemic or PTSD from that Tiger King documentary.

The main reason I wanted to make this was to use things we already had in the pantry.  Also I was not entirely sure how long the cream would last, so you know. For health reasons.  We had to use it. 

Why yes, that is a rice spoon I am using instead of a spatula because all of our actual baking tools are in Chicago where we aren't. Minneapolis of course made spatulas illegal in 1992. For obvious reasons. Not featured is the 2/3 measuring cup I had to use for all of the ingredients.  Good thing I was mostly sober. Math is not my strong suit.

WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY DO TO PASS THE TIME WHILE WAITING FOR THE GOODS TO BAKE?! Day drink while a five year old mutt judges me. Obvi.

Ugh yes, that is a pie plate and tiny loaf pan I am using instead of a bundt pan.  In my defense I don't really care what I eat out of.  Huzzah for low standards! I'll put it in my special skills section.

Okay, so it's not the prettiest.  But it is pretty delicious for just using things out of my pantry and incredibly wrong baking tools.  My name is Emjoy Gavino and I put alcohol in ugly baked goods.  For the people.

stolen and adapted from momfoodie.com

Ingredients

1 cup unsalted butter 2 sticks

1 cup sugar

1 tsp Kosher salt

3 eggs

1 cup cream liqueur 

2 1/4 cups flour

2 1/2 tsp baking powder

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees & grease and flour loaf or bundt pan*.

Cream butter, sugar and salt together.

Whisk the eggs, then add to bowl, pour in the Bailey's. Mix well.

Add the flour and baking powder (preferably mixed together first) a bit at a time. Make sure the batter is well beaten and silky smooth.

Pour batter into prepped pan.

The pie plate took about 35 minutes and the tiny loaf pan took about 45 minutes. I think a bundt pan would take about 40.

Aligot (or French Cheesy Potatoes (or How I Broke My Blender This Weekend))

Well well well.  It's my first entry of the new year and already winter in Chicago has come and gone and come back but this time with  more snow and more wind and Oprah's new commercials proclaiming her love of bread.

I haven't been able to cook anything as I have been on touring with a show for Second City Theatricals, performing in glorious gourmet havens like Findlay, Ohio (of the Dietsch Brothers Ice Cream fame) and San Diego (land of fish tacos).  The best stop so far was getting to come home to Seattle to see my family and friends and to eat as much as per diem would allow me to.  And on my final night there, we discovered an incredible new gem: Seven Beef - a Seattle Steak Shop.  They source whole, grass-fed cows from Heritage meats in Washington and use "the entire beast" on the menu.  Because I had already run out of per diem skrilla (redundant? (correct spelling of "skrilla"?)), I ordered none of the beast.  Instead I ordered the aligot.  BEST. DECISION. EVER.

Look how happy we all are! Look how empty that bowl is!  That used to be aligot!

Our patient server explained that aligot is not actually made of alligator.  And that "comte cheese" which was the only description the menu offered did not mean the cheese came free, but was a French cheese matured to perfection in the silence and darkness of special caves and when it emerges it ripens into delicate and impeccable texture.  I am pretty sure this is how Oscar Isaac was also born.
This weekend, however, allowed me time with the husband and puppy and kitchen.  And I wanted to experience the cheesy potatoey goodness all over again.

                                                                         #1: Aligot

Libation: First thing's first!  It was a belated Valentine's Day celebration so we had to break out the bubbly.  In this case, very nice pricey bubbly that Chad inherited from an overstock of booze at work.  Thanks, Writers Theatre! Veuve Clicquot Brut, or as I call it "Voo vee voo beu?" It was dry but pleasantly so.  It would go with any fine dining or probably also nachos. I don't know from expensive champagne.

Music:  Low. Cut. Connie.  We were going to their concert this weekend and wanted to rock out to it before rocking out in person.  Old school piano driven rock while still feeling funky and new? YES PLEASE.  Buy their album, "Hi Honey" immediately.

Here's my favorite of theirs. Watch it as Adam "goes full Swayze" (<-- actual lyrics).

You didn't need to see picture of me chopping up potatoes and then boiling them, did you? Good because I didn't take any.  Here is much later in the process riiight before I killed the blender.  I couldn't find the food processor.  In future, use food processor. 

Okay, we didn't have special comte Oscar Isaac cheese, but this shredded blend of Parmesan, Asiago and Fontina was on sale.

Okay, I know it doesn't look like much, but I'm telling you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with cheesy buttery mashed potatoes.  The French know what's up. Serve immediately and often.

stolen from Annies-Eats.com

Aligot (French Mashed Potatoes)

2 lbs. Yukon gold potatoes (about 4-6)
1 tsp. salt
3 tbsp. unsalted butter
2 cloves garlic, minced or pressed
1-1½ cups whole milk
4 oz. mozzarella cheese, shredded
4 oz. Gruyere cheese, shredded
Ground black pepper


Peel, rinse, and chop the potatoes into ½-1 inch chunks.  Place the potatoes in a large saucepan or pot, and cover with water, salting lightly.  Bring to a boil over high heat.  Reduce the heat to a simmer over medium-low and cook until the potatoes are tender and easily break apart when poked with a fork, about 15-20 minutes.  Drain the potatoes and transfer to the bowl of a food processor.  Wipe out the pan for later use.

Add the butter, garlic, and salt to the potatoes in the food processor.  Pulse until the butter is melted and incorporated into the potatoes, about 10 brief pulses.  Add 1 cup of the milk through the feed tube and continue to process until the mixture is smooth and creamy, about 20 seconds, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed.

Return the potato mixture to the now empty saucepan and set over medium heat.  Mix in the cheeses until completely melted and incorporated, stirring frequently.  The mixture will be thick and elastic.  If the mixture is too thick or difficult to stir, add the remaining ½ cup of milk a little bit at a time until the texture is loose and creamy.  Adjust seasonings as necessary with salt and pepper.  Serve immediately.