Hey, Some Of My Best Friends Are Vegetarians...

I tried to go vegetarian twice.  Once, in high school, because a classmate with amazing cheekbones and muscle tone swore by the diet. I really did try.  For three days.  But when you're growing up in a Filipino household, vegetarian basically just means eating rice and soy sauce. It turns out that classmate just had good genetics because what she actually ate was Doritos and ramen every day. I tried another time, in college. I gave up meat for Lent.  For...four days.  And then I felt like that lady in My Big Fat Greek Wedding: Is chicken meat?  Okay, but how about lamb?  ...Needless to say I am a terrible vegetarian.  But I do enjoy a good veggie burger.

Recipe #13: Black Bean Burger

Choice of libation:  Water with lemon and mint.  Listen: I'm not always a lush. Just mostly.

Choice of music: I figured to really get in the spirit of vegetarianism, I should listen to a vegetarian musician, so I went with Morrissey's album, Bona Drag.  It seemed appropriately whimsical and angsty.

Ah, it all began so simply: cook the quinoa, add garlic and seasoning. Easypeasy.

While the quinoa cooked, I sauteed the shallot, garlic and red peppers.  Also, Hairdresser on Fire is a fantastic song.

I could have just posted the picture of chopped cilantro from the last entry. But I don't print lies. Also, I wanted you to see how pretty my new spring nail colour is.

THIS IS THE DEBUT OF MY FOOD PROCESSOR ON THIS BLOG!!!  Usually I'm too lazy to climb the ladder to grab it above the fridge and I end up using the blender instead.  But Morrissey is highly motivating.  Maybe also because I wasn't wasted at this point.

After pulsing the veggies and beans together, I dumped in the quinoa and cilantro. It didn't look like it did on the website I stole this from.  But I was trying not to panic. Everything smelled like cumin. In a good way.

Um...so.  I'm supposed to hand-form the patties into palm-sized burgers.  But.  I mean.  Is it supposed to be the consistency of oatmeal?  Survey says no.  Oops.   I don't think I did it right.

I covered the patties in saran wrap and put them in the fridge overnight, hoping they would...become...less...gruel-ly?  I actually ended up putting all of them back into a bowl and folding cornstarch into the mix to draw out moisture.  

I don't know about this, you guuuuuys...

Also, I forgot the panko breadcrumbs, so I toasted multi-grain bread and crumbled enough to coat the gruel burgers.  

Well...They look like burgers now.  I'm gonna be honest with you: The magic of Morrissey's Bona Drag had worn off at this point, and I was a little over this recipe.  But I forged on.  Because I love you so.

I pan fried them, because someone told me it would probably hang together better that way.  Even in the gorgeous cast iron pan, these aren't looking amazing.

I sauteed some shallots in oil and balsamic, spread some mint/garlic/yogurt from this recipe on some toasted sourdough and sprinkled arugula and goat cheese and it wasn't awful.  I came to the conclusion that though this wasn't my favorite thing I've made this year, it was probably because I did something wrong early in the process.  Probably because I wasn't drinking alcohol. 

stolen from...

thetalkingkitchen.com

1- 15 oz. can black beans, rinsed and drained

2 c. cooked quinoa, (~ 1 c. raw + 2 c. water + 1/2 tsp sea salt + 5 cloves garlic, minced)

2 Tbsp olive or grapeseed oil

1 shallot, diced

1/2 red bell pepper, diced

1/4 tsp whole cumin seeds

1/2 tsp smoked paprika

1/2 tsp red pepper flakes

1/4 tsp sea salt (for veggies)

1/4 tsp smoked sea salt (for beans)

1/2-1 c. panko bread crumbs

1 c. cilantro leaves, loosely packed

Instructions

Begin by sautéing the bell pepper, cumin seeds, red pepper flakes, and shallot in 1/2 Tbsp of oil for a few mins, then add the garlic and sea salt, sauté for a minute or two more, turn off heat and set aside.

Next, in a food processor, add the beans, cooled veggies, paprika, and smoked salt. Pulse until just combined.

Then add the cooked quinoa and cilantro, again pulse until combined.

Hand form into palm-sized burger patties.

Refrigerate for at least 10 minutes. Remove from fridge, let cool for 5 minutes, then coat each side in panko bread crumbs, being sure to push down to adhere the breadcrumbs to the burger.

Pan fry in remaining oil for 3 minutes on each side.

Enjoy like a burger.