JUCY LUCY, Minnesota's Ambassador to the World...

"Give it some time before you bite, or it'll bite back."
That's what she said?
Oh. Probably.
At some point.

Dear The Three People Who Read This Blog,

I have rewritten the beginning of this multiple times and there was no way to discuss the Jucy Lucy (or the Juicy Lucy, depending on which Minnesota dive bar you are at) while still sounding wholesome, so I've given up.

The Jucy Lucy has been described to me as a meat gusher (ew) but basically it is the thing that happens when one burger patty loves another burger patty very much or just enough and they come together around a cheese slice  which gets gooey and explodes into your mouth when you finally bite down.

I'm so sorry.  As a Filipino Catholic, I am horrified.

Recipe #9: Jucy Lucy

Choice of libation: Milk is the official state drink of Minnesota so I had box wine.

Choice of music: In honor of my dear friend and virtual happy hour-er Lucy Carapetyan (who I was supposed to bring to a South Minneapolis burger joint to enjoy this with before...well. You know.) I'm rocking out to Lucius.  She put this song on a social distance playlist we collaborate on and it's just perfect, just like Lucy.

Why, Emjoy!  Your food photography is just stunning this week!

THANKS! I STOLE IT!
Sorry, friends, I totally spaced.  But the important thing to note is that it is another pantry/freezer staple recipe.  Also note that someone out there scrapes the top of butter like that.  Butter scraper? I hardly know her.
OMG. What is wrong with me. I'm so sorry.

 Because extra protein and vegetables are important, I decided to fold in caramelized onions and bacon into my burger patties first.  EMJOY GAVINO, HEALTH ICON.

Not pretty. But at least they're broken and disheveled and oddly flat.  <--- how they described me in high school

Oooh, patted down and unassuming, one would never know what lurks beneath. <--- also how they described me in high school

While the burgers were searing, I took some garlic I roasted in the oven and folded it into some softened butter and italian herbs. You know.  For calcium and more nutrients.

After toasting the brioche, spread the calcium rich butter thickly and...

...and DON'T accidentally touch the pan because it'll be super hot and you'll burn yourself and your hands will blister so grab the first thing you find in your freezer and heal thy wounds. And if you need to take a swig, that's okay too.

Well I have to say, finger pad casualties and potential for burning one's tongue on the molten core aside, this was pretty delicious. Perhaps the danger makes it even more so. So: Don't touch the hot pan, don't bite into the burger right away and please for the love of God. As much as I would love for you to come visit me in the twin cities, dear readers, I encourage you to try this in your own kitchen AND STAY HOME.


stolen and heavily adapted from food52.com

2 pounds ground beef
5 slices bacon chopped
1/2 sweet onion diced
4 slices of American cheese or any thin meltable cheese you have
Salt and pepper
Vegetable oil
1 yellow onion, roughly chopped
Sliced pickle chips (bread & butter or dill)
4 soft hamburger buns
1 tablespoon butter

1. Fry bacon in a cast iron pan, set aside on top of paper towel on top of plate. Do not look at the paper towel and if you do try not to think about what it soaked up.
2. Caramelize the onions where you fried the bacon
3. Fold both into ground beef
4. Separate the burger mix into 8 pieces and create 1/4-inch thick patties out of each one.
5. Fold the cheese slices in half, twice, making a square, and stick into the middle of four of the patties, gently pressing down into the meat
6. Place the other four patties on top of the patties that have the cheese, pinch to seal the edges, and form into perfect burgers roughly 3/4-inches thick. It's very important to seal it in! Season the patties liberally with salt and a few cracks of freshly ground black pepper and each side.
7. Pour a little oil on a cast iron pan and set it over medium-high heat. Once the oil begins to shimmer, gently place in your burgers in the pan. Cook until a hard caramelized crust forms on the bottom of the burger (3-5 minutes), flip, and repeat. Cook for an additional 3-5 minutes, remove from the heat, and set aside to rest.
8. Place your buns down on the pan and lightly toast to warm through (30 seconds-1 minute). Place your burgers on the buns, top with whatever

WARNING!!! If you don't let your burgers rest, you WILL burn your mouth with molten cheese.