When life gives you rhubarb, make rhubarb vodka. Obvs.

Don't worry, guys! I've been cooking this whole time, I just haven't been writing, so I'm doing some catch up now.  In fact, the next few blog posts will be recipes in which I used items from the CSA (community supported agriculture) program we signed up for this summer. So, everyone celebrate!

This vintage Strawberry Shortcake party invitation isn't completely random.  (And be thankful. I was going to awkwardly photoshop Jonathan Taylor Thomas's face on the cat, but I decided against it because it was terrifying me.)  One of the first things we got in our CSA basket (well...CSA large plastic bag) was rhubarb! OH! The amazing things we could do with rhubarb!  Pickle it! Make a pie from scratch! Make a sauce to put upon a beautiful lamb chop.  Or. Wait a month for it to turn into the best vodka ever.  YEAH. LET'S DO THAT.

Recipe #17: Rhubarb Vodka

Choice of libation: Ironically, not rhubarb vodka, as it hadn't been created in our kitchen yet.  So just normal vodka.  With some tonic. (We had to make sure the quality of the vodka we were using was up to par...)

Choice of music: Lupe Fiasco's album Tetsuo and Youth.  At the time we were making this, the movie trailer for Creed was starting to circulate and the song "Prisoner 1 & 2" would not stop looping in my head, so I decided to listen to the whole thing.  Really, Recommend. The entire album.  It pulsates and drives in a really cool way and there's an amazing musicality to it.  Here is the song that made me listen. Also. Michael B Jordan. So.

(The song starts at about 0:51 but go ahead and watch the whole thing because 

THIS MOVIE IS GONNA BE AMAZING!)

Chopping up the rhubarb is the second hardest part to this recipe. 

The hardest part is actually waiting an entire month to drink it.

WELL WORTH IT. BELIEVE ME. Summer in a glass. Tart and sweet. 

stolen from www.thekitchn.com

1 1.75-liter bottle of vodka

4-5 sticks of red rhubarb (not green)

1/3-1/2 cup sugar

A large jar with lid

Cut the rhubarb into 1/2" to 1" chunks.

Add everything to the jar and mix well, either by shaking the jar (if it's drip-proof) or stirring with a long-handled spoon.

Store in a cool, dark place. Shake or stir the jar daily. (I danced with it sometimes (actually true).)

The vodka will be ready in a month. Strain out the rhubarb and give it a taste test.

CHOCOLATE FOR BREAKFAST BECAUSE I CAN'T ADULT TODAY.

I don't care that I just did a muffin recipe.  We had bananas that were turning a shade that started to make me nervous and I didn't have the heart to throw them away.  Also, I wanted the excuse to have chocolate for breakfast.

ALSO IT'S MY BIRTHDAY SO I DON'T CARE.

Recipe #16: Banana Bread Dark Chocolate Chip Muffins

Choice of libation: Coffee.  With cream. And by "cream" I mean Bailey's.

Choice of music: Rhiannon Giddens is a current obsession of mine.  She is the lead singer of the Carolina Chocolate Drops and she just dropped a solo album, "Tomorrow is My Turn."  It is blues, gospel, folk and all heart.  I can't stop listening. Here's my favorite track from it...

She's so good in concert.  Get your tickets ASAP if she tours through...

Oh, you know. Just some calcium (butter) and protein (eggs).  Super healthy.  

(also an entire cup of granulated sugar)

But see? There's bananas, too!  

And dark chocolate with all those antioxidants!  Everybody:

"IT'S PRACTICALLY A SALAD!"

I couldn't find my loaf pan. So.

And of course I had to wait while these baked in the oven.  I should mention not to make these on an empty stomach.  Otherwise you will do what I did and pass the time by snacking on the rest of the chocolate chips in the bag.

You tell 'em, Ethel.

But after 35 excruciating minutes, this gooey deliciousness happened.  So so easy and highly highly highly recommended. I promise you, you won't want anything else for breakfast.  Except probably a nap after.  I can't think of any better way to celebrate turning 25.  Or whatever.

stolen from glitterinc.com

1 cup granulated sugar

8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature

2 large eggs

3 – 4 ripe bananas

1 tablespoon milk (any fat content)

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

½ – 1 teaspoon salt (I stick with a ½.)

½ – 1 cup milk chocolate chips (depending on how chocolatey you want your bread)

1. Preheat oven to 325°F.  Butter (or spray with baking spray) a 9 x 5  or 10 x 5 inch loaf pan (or a muffin tin!).

2.  Cream the sugar and butter together in a large mixing bowl until light and fluffy.  Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.

3.  In a small bowl, mash the bananas with a fork.  Mix in the milk and cinnamon.  In another bowl, mix together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.

4.  Add the banana mixture to the creamed mixture and stir until combined. Add dry ingredients, mixing just until flour disappears.  Then toss in your chocolate chips and mix one more time.

5.  Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 1 hour (32 minutes, if you used a muffin tin), until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean (add ten minutes if the center still seems a bit raw).  Set aside to cool on a rack for 15 minutes.  Remove bread from pan, flip over onto rack and cool completely before slicing.

Menu-don't? You're missing out...

Now that you have this image seared into your brain forever, I figure you can get over the fact that it's been over a month since I've posted.  Also. I'm sorry.

There is an actual reason for posting this picture of a Menudo album cover with my headshot terribly pasted onto the lead singer's face.  I can't remember the first one. But the second reason is because I made menudo.  For those of you who don't know, menudo is not just a Puerto Rican boy band formed in the 70's, leading to two feature films, Una Aventura Llamada Menudo and Menudo: La Pelicula, it is also a Filipino stew that I grew up eating.  I decided to attempt something similar to my Dad's recipe with the confidence of a young Mario Lopez (who was not in Menudo, but did have the pre-requisite hair style).

Recipe #15: Menudo (not that one, the other one)

Choice of libation: There is a Ricky Martin cocktail that consists of Midori, Orange Stolichnaya, Pina Colada mix and honey dew.  That sounded disgusting. So I just had a beer.

Choice of music: Duh.  I'm a leave this here, though...

                                        

Those moves! That hair!

I made this on a weirdly rainy (for June) day when I just wanted to taste comfort and home.  The tang of the tomato and raisins, the kick from the ginger...This totally does it for me.

stolen from myfilipinorecipes.com

2 lbs pork loin or shoulder; 

cut in about 1/2-inch cubes

1/2 lb pork or beef liver; (I skipped this, because I've always found liver to be gross) 

sliced in about 1/2-inch cubes

1 potato diced (fry in 3 minutes)

1 carrot diced (fry in 3 minutes)

1 onion chopped

4 cloves garlic minced

3 tbsp ginger minced

1 small tomato; chopped

1/3 cup raisins

1/4 cup chickpeas

1 can tomato sauce

1/2 cup soy sauce

1/4 tablespoon ground black pepper

1 calamasi or vinegar

Cooking oil

Marinate pork in soy sauce, calamansi, and ground black pepper for 1 hour.

Boil liver, drain, and set aside.

Sauté garlic, onion, and tomato. Add marinated pork, then continue sautéing until all liquid has evaporated and meat starts to render fat.

Add tomato sauce and simmer for 15 minutes. Add liver, potato, carrot, and raisins. Continue cooking in medium fire for 5 minutes or until cooked.

Season with little sugar, if desired, according to taste. Serve and enjoy!

Much A-dough About Muffin

Okay, yeah. So I made these almost an entire month ago and am just now blogging about it.  I am sorry, dearest readers, all three of you.  But a big reason is because of this face: 

Andromeda Peterson (Andy, for short) has very quickly taken up whatever time I've had free.  She is three months old and adorable.  She is part mountain cur and part monster.  The great thing is, we know she's truly ours because the first thing she did when she entered our home was to head straight for the booze and start licking the vodka bottle.  I mean.  Come. On. 

Obviously I am a great caretaker because I tried to take a picture of her doing it, instead of immediately trying to stop her.  I'm no hypocrite. 

...Please. Don't worry. I did eventually stop her...Right after I also had some vodka.

So anyway.  At the time that I made these, I was still doing a 3+ hour play about the bible with at least two references to cardamom, so I sought out a recipe that featured it that just so happened to be delicious.

Recipe #14: Cardamom -Ginger-Pear Muffins 

Choice of libation: Inspired by the puppy -- vodka.  Only I sipped it from a glass with some ice because I'm just not as hardcore as she is.

Choice of music: There's some joke here about "how could you ever card-a-mom who looks like Gwen Stefani?" but I'm too tired to formulate that, and really I just wanted to justify listening to Tragic Kingdom. 

And in my opinion, no one ever needs to justify listening to this album.

"Cuz I'm just a girl...Little ol' me..."

One of the people in my cast had a coconut allergy, so I substituted it with almonds.  It added great texture and I don't think I missed the shredded coconut.

When I make this again, I think I might double the ginger and cardamom (even though cardamom is FREAKING EXPENSIVE).  

These came out incredibly light and fluffy.  They were rather gentle in flavor, but not bland.  And considering you can use greek yogurt instead of oil and whole wheat instead of all purpose flour, it is a tasty treat THAT IS ACTUALLY GOOD FOR YOU.  Mmm...don't speak. Just eat.

Stolen and heavily adapted from

http://www.lucismorsels.com/

1 1/2 Cups sugar

1/2 Cup oil or greek yogurt* 

2 teaspoons vanilla (don't be silly - use RUM)

4 eggs

1 Cup whole wheat flour

2 Cups AP flour

2 teaspoons baking soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 1/4 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon cardamom

1/2 teaspoon ginger (I would use more, like maybe even 2 teaspoons)

2 pears, chopped (approx. 3 cups)

3/4 Cup young coconut, chopped (or use thinly sliced almonds)

*If using nonfat greek yogurt, add a few tablespoons of oil to maintain fluffier consistency. Note that muffins with yogurt must be stored in refrigerator within a day of baking to prevent spoilage.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray muffin tin with nonstick spray or line with cupcake wrappers. In a large bowl, combine sugar, oil/yogurt, vanilla, and eggs. In a separate bowl, combine flours, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cardamom, and ginger. Add flour mixture to wet mixture. Combine thoroughly. Add pears and coconut. Spoon 1/3 cup batter into each muffin tin. Bake 18-20 minutes until toothpick comes out clean. Cool and enjoy!

I'll SHOYU ramen. Wait...what?

Listen.  It's dreary outside.  And few things give one comfort like a giant bowl of noodle soup to slurp.  That's right slurp.  Not politely sip from an appropriately sized spoon.
I mean full on bowl-to-face action.

This shot, is of course from one of the best movies of all time, Tampopo, the 1985 classic, and the first ever "ramen western" (a hilarious take on the American spaghetti western).  It is sexy and funny and smart and if it doesn't make you crave noodles while watching it, there is probably something wrong with you. 

Also, re-watching it, I realize that in 50 years, I will become the old lady in this clip:

And in fact, if I'm being honest with myself, this actually just me, on a Tuesday at Mariano's.

Anyway.

A main plot point features one woman's quest to make the perfect ramen from scratch.  That is not what I did today. But I did make pretty good ramen that would suffice.

Recipe #13: Shoyu Chicken Ramen

So. I cheated.  I didn't make my own stock, because frankly I was too hungry to wait for all that. I completely agree with all of the people who say it is worth it to develop the flavors for hours or even a day, and I will definitely make this again doing that. But, um. Hangry.

In case you needed a reminder of what shredded chicken looked like.

 I know. Blurry.  What are you even looking at?  Well, at this point, it is chicken broth that has been boiling with ginger, sweet onion, garlic, soy sauce, chicken and arugula. Oh, and yes.  Store bought ramen noodles.  I know, I know, I should make my own. NEXT TIME, I PROMISE!

Considering I made it all in 40 minutes and was ready to slurp right away, I am a happy camper.  But in case you needed help eating ramen properly, here are a few pointers...

stolen and heavily adapted from pepper.ph

4 cups chicken broth

1 sweet onion, diced

4 cloves garlic, minced

4 inches ginger, minced

2 tbsp soy sauce

1 chicken breast fillet

3 servings dry noodles

1 package arugula

2 soft boiled eggs

Salt, to taste

Chopped spring onions, for garnish

Sesame seeds, for garnish

In a soup pot, boil the broth, onion, garlic, ginger and soy sauce

Wait for it to boil, and then add the chicken breast fillet.

Cook the chicken breast for 5-7 minutes. Remove from the broth and shred.

Add the shredded chicken back to the pot.

Cook the noodles in the same pot as directed in the package.

Check the flavor and season with salt and pepper, according to preference.

Add the arugula 30 seconds before noodles are cooked.

Serve in individual ramen bowls and garnish with half an egg, spring onions, and sesame seeds.

Winning at Tech III: Back in the Habit

"Where has she gone?" the three people who read my blog have been asking.  My dear devoted friends, fear not.  I've just been in rehearsals for a play.  And since it is a new work that is still being developed as I hurriedly type this, it has been consuming my time and thoughts.  But as tech week has rolled around, I thought it best to be inspired by past successes (see parts one and two from last year) and try to prepare for it with the tenacity of a younger Whoopi Goldberg,

You're welcome.

As always I try to be cost efficient and health conscious (at least to start with) even though in the end, we all know I'm going to go home and drink a hot toddy and eat dark chocolate when I get home at 12:45am. But here's my attempt this time, using mason jars from the Crafty Beaver...

Recipes #10, 11 and 12: Layered Taco Mason Jar, Pesto Chicken Antipasto Mason Jar, 

and Mediterranean Medley Mason Jar

Choice of libation: Double shot of espresso.  This week I am made of caffeine.

Choice of music: Running lines under my breath.  Seriously.  Can't stop, won't stop.

This entire process took me 45 minutes for all 3 recipes and I ended up with 12 jars of food. Ridiculous.  As soon as I got home from the store, I threw the chicken tenders in to marinate in the pesto. You can use store bought.  But I also have a great recipe I like to use for walnut sage pesto. Let that soak in for about 45 minutes. Then toss the chicken in the skillet until cooked through.

While the chicken's soaking, I browned some lean turkey meat with cumin, chipotle chili powder, paprika, salt and pepper, but you can also just dump in some taco seasoning.

Then you just build your jars!  From the bottom up, this one was 

salsa, diced tomatoes, red onions, avocado, ground meat, spinach and scallions.

From the bottom up, this is lemon basil vinaigrette, diced cucumber, diced tomatoes, red onions, pesto chicken, artichokes, feta, spinach and scallions. 

From the bottom up, this jar has extra virgin olive oil, tomatoes, red onions, red peppers, skim mozzarella, pesto chicken, pepperoni, spinach and scallions.

And voila!  A week's worth of healthy-ish meals!  There's enough variety in here that you won't get tired of them and the longer they soak in their "dressings", the better everything tastes anyway! GOOD JOB ON WINNING AT TECH WEEK!

(Remember: If you wanna be somebody

if you wanna go somewhere

you better wake up and make all of your week's dinners in one day so that you don't blow all your cash on Lunchables from Seven Eleven)

stolen and adapted from lexiscleankitchen.com 

Each of these make about 4 jars of food

for the taco jar:

homemade or store bought salsa

2 diced tomatoes

1/2 red onion

(I skipped the plantains, but go for it if you're feeling it)

taco seasoning (or your own spice mix)

ground meat (I did lean turkey)

spinach

scallions

for the antipasto jar:

diced pesto chicken

roasted red peppers

2 tomatoes diced

1/2 red onion

pepperoni

skim mozzarella cheese

spinach 

scallions

for the Mediterranean jar:

"loaded turkey meatballs" (except I cheated and just added more pesto chicken)

lemon basil vinaigrette 

1 diced cucumber

1 diced tomato

1/2 red onion

1 jar marinated artichokes

feta cheese

spinach 

scallions

Cook the meat.  Add seasoning.

Chop the veggies.

Layer to your heart's content.

Emjoy Cristina Barcelona

Okay I'll be honest.  This wasn't really inspired by a meal in a movie, like I promised at the beginning of the month.  We mainly wanted to make tapas and I wanted to justify writing about it on this blog.  So I thought...Hmm...what movie might have had tapas in it? Or people cooking Spanish food? Or, uhm, people in Spain? Then I had it! VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA! PERFECT.  Except for my irrational dislike of Scarlett Johanssen.  But whatever.

Here is a picture of beautiful people eating in a Spanish kitchen.  I think. I actually don't remember the plot of this movie.  I remember loving Javier Bardem. And not loving Scarlett Johanssen.  And wanting more of Rebecca Hall (not pictured). And hoping Penelope Cruz would win.  Was it about racing?  I don't know.  Oh well.  Woody Allen directed it so it was probably about neurotics and sex.

Recipes #6, 7, 8 and 9: Octopus in Spicy Paprika Sauce, Fried Goat Cheese, Onion Confit, Saffron Meatballs

Choice of libation: Telmo Rodriguez Rueda Basa

...or what I like to call my new favorite white wine.  Lovely nose of subtle fruit and dry enough to go with our flavorful meal.  Nice citrus undertones. 

Choice of music: Just.  Yassssssssssss. This guy is a motown throwback in the best way possible.  Neo-soul former Cee-Lo backup singer Curtis Harding will MELT you.  Listen to his album, Soul Power.

This one is one of my favorite tracks, "Keep on Shining." It is good for the soul.

I know.  I know.  It looks like someone beat this little guy up.  And that's kinda true.  The instructions told us to "tenderize the octopus by throwing it forcefully about ten times into your kitchen sink."

After boiling it in a pot with lots of good spices like bay leaf and peppercorns and parsley and simmering it for what felt like forever (DON'T THROW OUT THE COOKING LIQUID! YOU'LL NEED IT LATER!), we cut the octpus into 1 inch pieces. Yes.  I sneaked a taste before the next step.  Yes. I could have eaten more. 

Garlic, salt, paprika, chili pepper, reserved cooking liquid and octopus just chilling for a few...

I would eat this every day.  I seriously would.  A little spicy, a little salty, perfect texture -- make sure not to over cook so it doesn't get too chewy.

I guess you didn't really need pictures of making the onion confit.  because while yummy, it's still just cooking a bunch of onions in oil and spices. 

 Instead, here are very exciting pictures of egg wash, parsley and dipping goat cheese in panko crumbs.

Yeah, I know.  They look boring and bland.  Much like an actress I irrationally dislike.

THIS IS TOTALLY HEALTHY SOMEHOW.

A little goes a long way, dude.  Garlic, parseley, saffron, salt.  I do wish we had done this in a mortar because this food processor is so hard to clean and annoying.  

Much like an actress I irrationally dislike.

Chad mainly worked on this part, rolling together veal, pork, garlic, egg, bread and spices.  We used just a touch of the wine that we had been guzzling earlier.  

In the end a lovely meal.  Recipes not included in this blog were the pickled watermelon and cucumber (we haven't quite perfected that recipe, but once we do we'll share it), brussel sprouts, and chopped up olives mixed with goat cheese and walnuts.  Also I have no idea what red wine that was. I think it came from a box.  But doesn't it look nice in that decanter? 

Unlike a certain actress I irrationally dislike.  

Ugh.  Look at her, riding that dolphin, like she owns the ocean.

stolen and adapted from Tapas:Little Dishes of Spain by Penelope Casas

Octopus in Spicy Paprika Sauce

1 lb small octopus

Cooking Liquid:
12 cups water
2 tblsp oil
1 bay leaf
1/2 onion peeled
4 peppercorns
2 springs parsley
sea salt

4 tsp olive oil
sea salt
paprika

Tenderize the octopus by throwing it forcefully about ten times into your sink.
Combine cooking liquid, combine water with oil, bay leaf, onion, peppercorns, parsley and salt in a large pot.
Bring to boil.
Dip the octopus in and out of the liquid 3 times quickly and return it to the liquid
Simmer for about 1 hour
Turn off heat and leave octopus in liquid until ready to use.
Cut octopus into 1 inch pieces.
Heat oil in a skillet and add the octopus, garlic and salt.
Cook for 1 minute, spriknle with paprika and chile pepper and stir in the reserved cooking liquid.  Simmer for a few more minutes.  (DO NOT OVERCOOK)

Onion Confit
2 tbsp olive oil
2 large sweet onions
2 cloves garlic minced
1/8 teaspoon crumbled thread saffron
1 bay leaf
sea salt
freshly ground pepper
1 tbsp white wine

Put the oil, onions, garlic, saffron and bay leaf in a shallow saute pan.
Heat over the lowest possible heat until the mixture begins to sizzle.
Cover and cook 40 minutes.
Season well with salt and pepper
Add white wine and cook until evaporated.

Fried Goat Cheese
1/2 recipe onion confit (I used all of it)
1 egg
1/4 tsp parsley
4 oz log goat cheese cut in 1/2 in slices
panko bread crumbs
olive oil for frying

In a shallow bowl, beat the egg and parsley together with a fork.
Dip the cheese in the egg then coat with crumbs.

Heat the oil, preferably in a deep fryer.  We did in our wok.  So it's like FUSION.
Pour oil to a depth of at least 1 inch and heat oil until it quickly browns a cube of bread
Fry cheese until golden brown and drain on paper towels.
Place fried cheese on top of confit.  Because YEAH.

Tiny Meatballs in Saffron Sauce
1/2 lb ground veal
1/2 lb ground pork
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp minced parsley
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 slice bread, crusts removed, soaked in milk, squeezed dry
1 1/2 teaspoons coarse salt
ground pepper
flour for dusting
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tblsp minced onion
1/4 tsp sweet smoked paprika
1/2 cup veal or chicken broth
2 tbsp white wine
several strands saffron
minced parsley for garnish

In a bowl mix together the veal, pork, half of the garlic, 1 tbsp of parsley, egg, bread, salt and pepper. Form into small balls not larger than 1 inch.  Dust with flour.

Heat the oil in a shallow casserole.  Brown the meatballs well on all sides.  Add the onion and saute until wilted.  Sprinkle in paprika and cook\ for one minute.  Stir in broth and wine, bring to boil, cover, and simmer for 40 minutes

Mash together in a processor or mortar the remaining garlic, parsley, saffron and a little salt.  Stir this mixture into the meatballs, sprinkle with parsley and serve. Add the saffron mixture just before serving.